Friday, February 18, 2011

Glory of an Inch

In a material world such as ours, few measurements have more selling power than the inch. Cars sell on the basis of mileage, the more the kilometers per hour the better the selling proposition. The closest that comes to inches is kilograms. It is able to sell from vegetables, rice, noodles to nutrition programs. They trigger the horde to move from “more-is-less” to “less-is-more” paradigm. But, nothing even comes close to the almighty inch, which is an inch away from glory than all the others! My notebook has a quote boldly written on its face:

Inches make champions!

Well, inches make billions too! Only the inch is responsible for billions of dollars and crores of rupees in sales for fitness machines, weight loss programs, penis enlargement, bust reduction or augmentation, height, sexual paraphernalia, food and god knows what else. In fact most of advertisement channels won’t work, if not for the sake of inches!

When someone invented the measurement system, then little would have that person thought that inch will become the most important metric. No other measurement is as malleable in its applications to sell.
All the fitness programs promise one unique thing, one can lose fifteen inches from waist or increase two inches in biceps. In weight loss programs, remember the before and after? The before and after are again bound by an inch tape draped around the belly! Of course the famed Body Mass Index (BMI) depends on the measurement of body weight and height and build. And then the penis enlargement, well its self explanatory because rarely if ever will one see anyone wants to trim anything from their pole vault. Breasts are for the ones from Venus, but they too want the inches added on. The search for the perfect bust can last several years thanks to the sheer materialistic excellence of plastic surgeons saying less is more and more is just wonderful. In fact, some of the corner-eye advertisements show busts which can shy away watermelons. For height, heels are sold to varying degrees thanks in part to the size of their heel and size dictates needs, tastes, trends, and personality. Men don’t stray too far behind because often times they need that inch, in height (Come on! we have moved on from the Penis) to look reputable. 

Food is altogether a very tricky category. When the packaged products show the calorie count, they tend to show the minimal. A low fat food product is always eye catching to even the slimmest of the persons. And while we were busy reading this, some markets must be busy in making something “extra low fat”. But, when it comes to pizzas or subs, then, the more the inches the better it is.

But the obsession over the almighty inch when it comes down to genre is just awe inspiring. If you’re not too keen to accept this hypothesis, then by all means tell me what you think about when I mention 36-24-36. If you’re thinking about the person whose phone number it can be, then you have a problem. Most likely you’ll think of those fictitious Savita Bhabhi or Pamela running around on beaches or better still the pretty famed Sheelas. If I happen to say 6 to 10 inches, what do you think about? Odds are that something meaty comes to mind, and I’m not talking value menu items.

The funny part is that in the obsession competition, I really don’t know who wins. I don’t know if the freaky looking penis enlargement programs win. I don’t know if at all given free to someone, will he take such a program? Cause, who will want a prick that sometimes reaches one-arms-distance??? And for girls, I am not sure if someone wants a trolley to carry the watermelons!! Of course, the waist line inches may be approachable, and I think it will be the biggest category of “inch” product selling in the market.

What’s best is that the base reason for the obsession is the same. Call it vanity, self pride, self worth, confidence or what have you; the quest for the perfect inch is something that crosses demographics, religions, boundaries, race, age, gender, etc. I’m not saying everyone in the whole world is obsessed with inches, but what I am saying is that inches are somewhere in the top of our mind and rising inch by inch….

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