Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Matrix in real world

I am not the "ONE"!

But then for some people I am the only one, for others I am someone and for the still few left I am noone :), I am happy (fullstop)

But then I was elated, overjoyed, ecstatic, jubilant and jumping when one dear friend said good things about me. Particularly this pic was praised :P, the compliments are saved for life!
"My" life which runs like a matrix for me.
Sometimes I feel like everything around me is running in a fast mode. Everyone and everything is moving around very fast. I am not in sync with the rest of the world. But I am not worried at all, I am in my own world. I will give an example from today morning. I was initially running....jogging to catch the 9:15 bus. Exactly 5 mins into the run I realize "kahan ke liye?"!
Why am I running? I relax. I see around. I watch the puddles of water from last night. I see people rushing to office. I see motorbikers coming out of all small alleys and gelling into the astoundingly fast traffic. They seep around like a big funnel with its mouth at every junction and every stopover. There the next funnel opens its mouth to suck them all!
The cars, autos and buses rush around like there is no tomorrow. Recklessly they splash the filth around. I see splash leaves ripples in the water...ripples reflecting the morning sun light. Then another splash wakes up a sleeping dog :). The dog takes a long time to realize, "It's morning :) , again :D".
The bus leaves just in front of my eyes :( I have no problems.. I will catch the next one :) I see people behind me running hard to catch the same bus. They do. I have made up my mind!
I see young boys running behind their father pulling a cart. The smiles are contagious. I see a man selling stickers of gods to autowallas. He comes to me too. Says something which I can't understand. I anyways buy a sticker for Rs. 2 obviously with a smile. My eyes search for an auto which has the least smoke. They are all like dragons, coughing out like anything. I am getting angry! I am getting disgusted! I find auto with almost no smoke. I hand the sticker to him and tell him to keep it up! He is happy, the most auspicious thing happened to him this morning.
Happiness is contagious!
And time passes quickly! Another bus comes up. What was the need to rush for the earlier one? I get on the bus with a smile (again) :)
But then at other times, I feel everything around me is moving slowly.......People moving in slow motion.....things moving around like they have been played in replay mode of an IPL 3rd umpire screen. Extremely slow! The bus is about to leave. I am walking normally but the bus door takes hours to close....I jump in the bus....the bus moves on slowly......
Someone on my back is asking for change. The conductor is saying no change - no tickets. He has just a Rs. 500 note. Oopss! Can happen to anyone if that anyone is careless :D. He is too slow to ask for a change. I hand him Rs. 50 and tell him to return back soon. What has happened to me!!!! :O
He thinks twice ;) he who is getting the money :D He takes it and gives me his phone number. Takes down mine and says today itself. He works in the same place as I do. EGL, Bangalore.
And a traffic jam. Every car, every bike, every auto is moving as if they don't want to move ahead. I get down and start walking. It is good to walk down, one can see so many things. A group is playing a gamble. 3 hundred rupee notes are out. I watch the game. It is exciting. A person won Rs. 300. Wow! :) I congratulate him! Big day for him. I move ahead. Still the bus is behind me. Poor traffic :))
I feel like there is so much to see, so much to listen to, so much to do and so much to experience. I have done so much yet so little. I have so much to do and so less a time. Who believes in god??? Who believes in rebirths?
I believe I have just one life! I believe I have the god within! I believe one has to decide for one's own self. I believe the destiny is not destined for anyone, but the person paves the way ahead for one's own destiny. I believe I should be happy to reach my destiny. I believe I will find sorrows on every corner of the way ahead.
But I believe that sorrows can't face my smile. I believe that the sorrows will either be too slow or too fast to catch up with me.
I believe only the happiness remains with me. Happiness brings smile.
Smile is contagious :)