Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Marching towards extinction

"Only 1411 left"

When we saw this, we all wondered what was it all about. And then we were enlightened that India is left with just 1411 tigers, and if we don't do anything about it, then in some time, we will be able to see them only in photos and videos.

The long Christmas weekend was enlightening for me as it brought such thoughts to my mind. There was just a small difference, I was not thinking about tigers, rather, I was thinking about Bachelors. The species of bachelors are being eliminated at such a rapid pace that by the end of 2011, I don't think there will be a single one left.

This year the most tragic month was November. Every single day, my hand used to shiver when opening my FB account. One or the other mutilation story was up there. There were nightmares of a world without Bachelors. What will the world look like?!

Interestingly, the world  around disguises itself to make us feel better. In one of the discs, there were a good number of "Bachelorettes". But as one inched closer to them the ever honoured Sindoor nicely touched up by the make up was in your face. I could see a live example of how Lakshmanrekha would work on Bachelors. There is no better repellent that a simple vermilion.But my full sympathies go for the species of my kind. Where else do we go?

The few of the kind left in this wilderness, find no peace on the weekends. They wander about in shopping malls, movie halls, FB, gtalk or they huddle around in closed group booze parties. They keep away from their phones and never think about going homes to see their parents. They know that they will be slaughtered at the first sight! They keep hearing news that another relative came down with a proposal from a neighbor. When they call back home, out of guilt for not calling for long, only one line gets repeated invariably every time:

"अब तो तू settle हो गया है | लड़की देखना शुरू करें ?"
("Now that you are settled, shall we look for a bride?")

They worry about what will happen if they agree to lie on the deathbed. They ask around in hushed tones.
"How is the married life? How is it going?"
And they get the answers in even more toned down voices,
"Everything is great man!" (As if We don't know!)
"Life is good. We went to @$$%$#& and had loads of fun!" (Ya ya, no daru, no ladki. You have always been a naturalist!)

And then they give us the impression that they are really enjoying their life. So, just as old friends we invite them over a party on weekend. And as usual we get the replies of why not, see you over the weekend! But friends change a lot.....

On Saturday morning you get the msg: "Not possible, got some work"

So, on monday morning on a gtalk chat you ask what happened and you get the reply:
"यार महीने का सामान लाना था |"
"उसके मम्मी पापा, चाचा मामा, बड़ी बहिन, छोटा भाई......आ गए |"

You sort of get the feel of the life to come. And you start wondering how long before you will also be caught....Just then you see the municipality van coming to your neighborhood. Someone must have complained about the increasing number of stray dogs menacing on the streets. The municipal worker chases the dogs, puts a ring around the head of the dog and ruthlessly pulls it towards the standing van. The dog gives the best fight possible, but the metal ring only gets tighter, tight enough for not even the bark to come out. The van finally leaves, and the dog looks back at the streets, only a few minutes ago the dog was running around jumping with joy!.....

The feeling lingers on for the day......And then you get call form one of the rare species,
"आज रात कहाँ पार्टी है?"

You forget about the weird feelings. You don't dare check the FB status messages for the fear of getting another bad news or the same old rhetoric question,
"When are you getting married?"

You just put on the fist T that comes to your hand, pull out one of the jeans from the to-be-washed clothes pile, pick up the bike keys and leave for the streets...............

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