Football meri jaan..

Someone said 'football is more important than life and death to you' and I said 'Listen, it's more important than that'. Yes thats what I also said to one of my friends when he asked me to come over for a movie on a sunday evening. And I think I will say that every time I have a game to play.

There are players and then there are artists in football. For the players football will remain a game. And for the artists it was never a game but a passion; an undying one. Actually only a man of the latter kind can understand what I am trying to imply. This is so because to understand this, one should have a ball on the upper left corner of his body dedicated to kick off for football.

Some of my real life friends who fall into the great category are sanky, pandit, DK, bacchhha, anurag, bhuppi, jhuppi, jassi, sugla, VNS, bony, fido, loco......

"soccer", "footy", "footer", "football".....many names, one sense "game on"

I'm still here

Sometimes the feeling is so great, so strong, so exhilarating yet so crushing............. I am stuck on this poem for the past 2 hours and still thinking to do something else.....move on....but I am still here.......
I been scared and battered.
My hopes the wind done scattered.
Snow has friz me,
Sun has baked me,

Looks like between 'em they done
Tried to make me

Stop laughin', stop lovin', stop livin'--
But I don't care!
I'm still here!

Enough.....

Ever wondered "how much is enough???"....well I have been forced to wonder over this intruging question for the past some time, in fact a long time and I can't even remember when I got even one satisfactory answer.

Maybe satisfaction is a momentary illusion, to fool a person. I think satisfaction became extinct at the instant a human was born. Or maybe Eve ate that too....;)

Getting back to "how much is enough???". Well we get to see a variety of people around us. Some rich, some poor, some like us who don't know where we stand. This is the fact, almost everyone, I mean almost everyone around me fall in this category. But 14 years of school studies, 4 years of college studies, 1 year into the job and I am almost back to square one. Like an infant watching the world around and wondering "Why all this??". I am getting my food, I am getting the weekly dose of entertainment in the multiplexes around, I have my friends around, I even have great parties in between. Maybe the zeal to do something is missing or maybe my enthu has gone hibernating.

The moment I think of buying a good bike like Bullet (Rs. 80,000), I think why don't I get a car instead. Maybe a Swift(Rs. 4,50,000) will do, sporty looks within my budget (budget is extended for the youth after the easy loans :) ). But then I think maybe some more earnings and I can got for a Honda City(Rs.7,00,000). But then again my eyes have been on Innova(Rs. 9,50,000) also. If Innova is possible then Ford Endeavor or Skoda Octavia (Rs. 15,00,000) are not far behind. And from the corner of my eyes I see many other options ;).......

Many things besides earning more have the word "enough" linked to them. I have said, "enough of drinking, now no more!!" and my friends comment:
"launda bigad gaya hai!!"
"Senti ho gaya hai!!"
"Galat baat hai...."
"arre kya ho gaya hai tujhe"

India's population is more than enough, news channels in India are much more than enough, corruption is enough, reservations are enough.....and now my crap has been enough....

a thought.....

The world is so empty if one thinks only of mountains, rivers, and cities; but to know someone here and there who thinks and feels with us, and though distant, is close to us in spirit, this makes the earth for us an inhabited garden.

arbitapa series: its like.......

its like hanging on a bed of burning coal, with nothing else to hold on but a
sharp sword. thoughts are there flashing in the mind but its too painful to even
think about then twice.

its like jumping from the highest point and just before touching the ground a
realization that maybe you should have told. maybe you shouldn't have.....maybe
it was all a mistake or maybe it was all just another illusion. maybe it wasn't
meant to be.

its like running away, away from all the confusion, and finding oneself deserted
in an endless world. every eye is staring at you, but the stare gives sympathy
and nothing else. but is it sympathy you were looking for. never........

Oh I planned it out!!

At last I two great opportunities to get out of the daily routine and get on a trip outside delhi. And yes, alas my "plan it out" (read the previous blog for details) can be boasted to others, now I can prodly say, "Oh I planned it out!!"

I went over to Amritsar and then to Agra. The trips were great and here below are some great pics from my digital shutterbug.

Amritsar 23 to 26 December





Agra 30 to 31 December

Plan it out......

Me: Oye kya kar raha hai for the forthcoming long weekends ???
****: Nothing decided so far.
Me: Kuch karte hai na....
****: plan it out and i m game for it.....

This triggered the planning process in my mind in the well defined process as can well be expected of any person after speding well over an year in the ever inspiring corporate world ;).

Checked my mailbox in between and already the New year and Merry Christmas mails are flooding the mailbox. But this particular one is worthy of being called the best among them all.

Hi all,
I have some (good/bad) news for you.

I know that it is something that you people would not have expected this so soon from me.... although I was thinking about it for quite a while. I am telling this news to you in advance.

I'm leaving by the end of this month.

Hope u enjoyed with me. If I had done anything wrong that hurt u, kindly forgive me n also forget it.

Hoping u will always remember me...

All the best to you all for your future endeavors........


UR'S LOVINGLY,
Year 2006.

Just when I was about to pick up the phone to call that person asking him where is going to, or just when did he start the planning. I saw the last 2 lines. I forwarded the message. And belive it some people do call back to ask just the same ( "So you are going....!!where to???" )

Anyways I was planning.....

So here were some of the plans that came up on my mind after some investigations on net and other friends who were also busy planning it out!!

Plan 1: Go home, sleep, wake up, eat, sleep......(This is sick....)

Plan 2: hear to the rock bands.....some blues ho jaaye......
-23rd Dec (Saturday) -Lou Majaw's Back Again To Play with Lou Hilt And Sam Shullai, 8:30pm onwards.
-24th Dec (Sunday) - Blues Band 'Soulmate' With Rudy Wallang On Guitar, Tiprity On Vocals & Guitar, Ferdy On Bass & Sam Shullai On Drums. Show Starts At 8:30pm.
Venue: Haze Blues Bar & Restaurant, Vasant Vihar.

Plan 3: Go to a freind's place in Amritsar and chill out.

Plan 4: Just got this invitation. A group of friends leaving for Rishikesh tomorrow morning.

Ok so....what to do now....let me think on the plan I want to follow, so let me just think some more and plan it out.....
hmm......

Blues.....

The terrible feeling of being alone in a crowd and being trapped under the open blue skies. Its so much more amplified by everything going on around one's self. The mind goes numb, the thoughts freeze.

At times like these there is nothing better than a pink floyd. Maybe these magical words can best relate to my mind......

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

Surprised!! Why there is no media highlight now???

Oh is that correct???? But I just got the biggest news on the TV that "dada is back!!". Isn't that the latest and the most influencing news!!

Well now I know why a TV set is known as the idiot's box. And a TV set with a news channel on is like idiot sitting on a shit-pot daydreaming. Yes its very much like that in fact I have censored some of the last lines.

Have a look at the link below.

http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=WZPA,WZPA:2006-24,WZPA:en&oe=UTF-8&tab=wn&ncl=1111727552&hl=en&scoring=d

Oh so the OBC quota thing!!! Thats a news of the past. Look carefully and one may see that all the assurances and promises of excluding the creamy layer have been dumped. Where is the media attention now, the same media (the same &$%# media) which took it so seriously.

Stealth missile. This is what it is. The day is not far behind when there will be a need for a reservation for the general category.

arbitapa

This blog took me a long time, in fact such a long time that I don’t even know when the first thoughts materialized into words. Thoughts kept coming over, events went on about me, and the experience grew and grew into a chaotic mess, which I will never be able to sort out. But I think this confusion is relieving though not satisfying as I will be in a search for more answers.

It all began with the lonely night, me alone in my car returning after a night out with some friends and the song on….

"Yaroon dosti badi hi haseen hain,
ye na ho tho kya phir,bolo ye zindagi hain,
Koi tho ho raazdaar,begaraz,tera ho yaar,
koi tho ho raazdaar,
Teri har ek burai pe dante woh dost,
gum ki ho dhoop tho sayaa bane tera vo dost,
yaroon dosti badi hi haseen hain..."

Well it’s the strangest of all things known to me if not to all of the others. It makes me sad, laugh, angry, all in all it’s a riot of emotions.

A person’s identity is nothing but a virtual fact. I read somewhere that a person is well defined by his friends and foes. In fact a person is a just a coordinate in this infinite space, a coordinate defined by those who love him and hate him. That means that any person that we hate tries to repel us and the person we love attracts us, trying to change our very existing coordinate. I think that a true friend is one who is quiet different in this simple coordinate system. He is the one who doesn’t try to change our very existence, but add a totally new dimension to our lives.

This new dimension is cherished by us all. But we miss out something; we miss out on the existence of that new dimension and the person who brought it along. We may take those very moments as “just another happy moment” in life. This ignorance is what kills me at times. I am not afraid that the friend will stop loving me, but I am afraid what if I stop loving my friend. What if I fail in my commitments???

Yet again, it involves a great degree of vulnerability that makes all this so uncomfortable.

I will never be able to say some things, and this succumbs me to the very extreme. I feel like my mind will blast off to pieces, there are no tears in my eyes, no shouts, no sobbings. Only a faint smile comes over. The ones who don't "know me" take that as the "usual". This maks me happier in such a moment of distress and sadness cause I know that my friend will be listening what I m trying to say. This feeling of assurance is my only possesion. I am willing to lose everything for this possesion.........