its like hanging on a bed of burning coal, with nothing else to hold on but a
sharp sword. thoughts are there flashing in the mind but its too painful to even
think about then twice.
its like jumping from the highest point and just before touching the ground a
realization that maybe you should have told. maybe you shouldn't have.....maybe
it was all a mistake or maybe it was all just another illusion. maybe it wasn't
meant to be.
its like running away, away from all the confusion, and finding oneself deserted
in an endless world. every eye is staring at you, but the stare gives sympathy
and nothing else. but is it sympathy you were looking for. never........
Friday, January 05, 2007
Monday, January 01, 2007
Oh I planned it out!!
At last I two great opportunities to get out of the daily routine and get on a trip outside delhi. And yes, alas my "plan it out" (read the previous blog for details) can be boasted to others, now I can prodly say, "Oh I planned it out!!"
I went over to Amritsar and then to Agra. The trips were great and here below are some great pics from my digital shutterbug.
Amritsar 23 to 26 December
Agra 30 to 31 December
I went over to Amritsar and then to Agra. The trips were great and here below are some great pics from my digital shutterbug.
Amritsar 23 to 26 December
Agra 30 to 31 December
Friday, December 22, 2006
Plan it out......
Me: Oye kya kar raha hai for the forthcoming long weekends ???
****: Nothing decided so far.
Me: Kuch karte hai na....
****: plan it out and i m game for it.....
This triggered the planning process in my mind in the well defined process as can well be expected of any person after speding well over an year in the ever inspiring corporate world ;).
Checked my mailbox in between and already the New year and Merry Christmas mails are flooding the mailbox. But this particular one is worthy of being called the best among them all.
Hi all,
I have some (good/bad) news for you.
I know that it is something that you people would not have expected this so soon from me.... although I was thinking about it for quite a while. I am telling this news to you in advance.
I'm leaving by the end of this month.
Hope u enjoyed with me. If I had done anything wrong that hurt u, kindly forgive me n also forget it.
Hoping u will always remember me...
All the best to you all for your future endeavors........
UR'S LOVINGLY,
Year 2006.
Just when I was about to pick up the phone to call that person asking him where is going to, or just when did he start the planning. I saw the last 2 lines. I forwarded the message. And belive it some people do call back to ask just the same ( "So you are going....!!where to???" )
Anyways I was planning.....
So here were some of the plans that came up on my mind after some investigations on net and other friends who were also busy planning it out!!
Plan 1: Go home, sleep, wake up, eat, sleep......(This is sick....)
Plan 2: hear to the rock bands.....some blues ho jaaye......
-23rd Dec (Saturday) -Lou Majaw's Back Again To Play with Lou Hilt And Sam Shullai, 8:30pm onwards.
-24th Dec (Sunday) - Blues Band 'Soulmate' With Rudy Wallang On Guitar, Tiprity On Vocals & Guitar, Ferdy On Bass & Sam Shullai On Drums. Show Starts At 8:30pm.
Venue: Haze Blues Bar & Restaurant, Vasant Vihar.
Plan 3: Go to a freind's place in Amritsar and chill out.
Plan 4: Just got this invitation. A group of friends leaving for Rishikesh tomorrow morning.
Ok so....what to do now....let me think on the plan I want to follow, so let me just think some more and plan it out.....
hmm......
****: Nothing decided so far.
Me: Kuch karte hai na....
****: plan it out and i m game for it.....
This triggered the planning process in my mind in the well defined process as can well be expected of any person after speding well over an year in the ever inspiring corporate world ;).
Checked my mailbox in between and already the New year and Merry Christmas mails are flooding the mailbox. But this particular one is worthy of being called the best among them all.
Hi all,
I have some (good/bad) news for you.
I know that it is something that you people would not have expected this so soon from me.... although I was thinking about it for quite a while. I am telling this news to you in advance.
I'm leaving by the end of this month.
Hope u enjoyed with me. If I had done anything wrong that hurt u, kindly forgive me n also forget it.
Hoping u will always remember me...
All the best to you all for your future endeavors........
UR'S LOVINGLY,
Year 2006.
Just when I was about to pick up the phone to call that person asking him where is going to, or just when did he start the planning. I saw the last 2 lines. I forwarded the message. And belive it some people do call back to ask just the same ( "So you are going....!!where to???" )
Anyways I was planning.....
So here were some of the plans that came up on my mind after some investigations on net and other friends who were also busy planning it out!!
Plan 1: Go home, sleep, wake up, eat, sleep......(This is sick....)
Plan 2: hear to the rock bands.....some blues ho jaaye......
-23rd Dec (Saturday) -Lou Majaw's Back Again To Play with Lou Hilt And Sam Shullai, 8:30pm onwards.
-24th Dec (Sunday) - Blues Band 'Soulmate' With Rudy Wallang On Guitar, Tiprity On Vocals & Guitar, Ferdy On Bass & Sam Shullai On Drums. Show Starts At 8:30pm.
Venue: Haze Blues Bar & Restaurant, Vasant Vihar.
Plan 3: Go to a freind's place in Amritsar and chill out.
Plan 4: Just got this invitation. A group of friends leaving for Rishikesh tomorrow morning.
Ok so....what to do now....let me think on the plan I want to follow, so let me just think some more and plan it out.....
hmm......
Monday, December 11, 2006
Blues.....
The terrible feeling of being alone in a crowd and being trapped under the open blue skies. Its so much more amplified by everything going on around one's self. The mind goes numb, the thoughts freeze.
At times like these there is nothing better than a pink floyd. Maybe these magical words can best relate to my mind......
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.
At times like these there is nothing better than a pink floyd. Maybe these magical words can best relate to my mind......
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Surprised!! Why there is no media highlight now???
Oh is that correct???? But I just got the biggest news on the TV that "dada is back!!". Isn't that the latest and the most influencing news!!
Well now I know why a TV set is known as the idiot's box. And a TV set with a news channel on is like idiot sitting on a shit-pot daydreaming. Yes its very much like that in fact I have censored some of the last lines.
Have a look at the link below.
http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=WZPA,WZPA:2006-24,WZPA:en&oe=UTF-8&tab=wn&ncl=1111727552&hl=en&scoring=d
Oh so the OBC quota thing!!! Thats a news of the past. Look carefully and one may see that all the assurances and promises of excluding the creamy layer have been dumped. Where is the media attention now, the same media (the same &$%# media) which took it so seriously.
Stealth missile. This is what it is. The day is not far behind when there will be a need for a reservation for the general category.
Well now I know why a TV set is known as the idiot's box. And a TV set with a news channel on is like idiot sitting on a shit-pot daydreaming. Yes its very much like that in fact I have censored some of the last lines.
Have a look at the link below.
http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=WZPA,WZPA:2006-24,WZPA:en&oe=UTF-8&tab=wn&ncl=1111727552&hl=en&scoring=d
Oh so the OBC quota thing!!! Thats a news of the past. Look carefully and one may see that all the assurances and promises of excluding the creamy layer have been dumped. Where is the media attention now, the same media (the same &$%# media) which took it so seriously.
Stealth missile. This is what it is. The day is not far behind when there will be a need for a reservation for the general category.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
arbitapa
This blog took me a long time, in fact such a long time that I don’t even know when the first thoughts materialized into words. Thoughts kept coming over, events went on about me, and the experience grew and grew into a chaotic mess, which I will never be able to sort out. But I think this confusion is relieving though not satisfying as I will be in a search for more answers.
It all began with the lonely night, me alone in my car returning after a night out with some friends and the song on….
"Yaroon dosti badi hi haseen hain,
ye na ho tho kya phir,bolo ye zindagi hain,
Koi tho ho raazdaar,begaraz,tera ho yaar,
koi tho ho raazdaar,
Teri har ek burai pe dante woh dost,
gum ki ho dhoop tho sayaa bane tera vo dost,
yaroon dosti badi hi haseen hain..."
Well it’s the strangest of all things known to me if not to all of the others. It makes me sad, laugh, angry, all in all it’s a riot of emotions.
A person’s identity is nothing but a virtual fact. I read somewhere that a person is well defined by his friends and foes. In fact a person is a just a coordinate in this infinite space, a coordinate defined by those who love him and hate him. That means that any person that we hate tries to repel us and the person we love attracts us, trying to change our very existing coordinate. I think that a true friend is one who is quiet different in this simple coordinate system. He is the one who doesn’t try to change our very existence, but add a totally new dimension to our lives.
This new dimension is cherished by us all. But we miss out something; we miss out on the existence of that new dimension and the person who brought it along. We may take those very moments as “just another happy moment” in life. This ignorance is what kills me at times. I am not afraid that the friend will stop loving me, but I am afraid what if I stop loving my friend. What if I fail in my commitments???
Yet again, it involves a great degree of vulnerability that makes all this so uncomfortable.
I will never be able to say some things, and this succumbs me to the very extreme. I feel like my mind will blast off to pieces, there are no tears in my eyes, no shouts, no sobbings. Only a faint smile comes over. The ones who don't "know me" take that as the "usual". This maks me happier in such a moment of distress and sadness cause I know that my friend will be listening what I m trying to say. This feeling of assurance is my only possesion. I am willing to lose everything for this possesion.........
It all began with the lonely night, me alone in my car returning after a night out with some friends and the song on….
"Yaroon dosti badi hi haseen hain,
ye na ho tho kya phir,bolo ye zindagi hain,
Koi tho ho raazdaar,begaraz,tera ho yaar,
koi tho ho raazdaar,
Teri har ek burai pe dante woh dost,
gum ki ho dhoop tho sayaa bane tera vo dost,
yaroon dosti badi hi haseen hain..."
Well it’s the strangest of all things known to me if not to all of the others. It makes me sad, laugh, angry, all in all it’s a riot of emotions.
A person’s identity is nothing but a virtual fact. I read somewhere that a person is well defined by his friends and foes. In fact a person is a just a coordinate in this infinite space, a coordinate defined by those who love him and hate him. That means that any person that we hate tries to repel us and the person we love attracts us, trying to change our very existing coordinate. I think that a true friend is one who is quiet different in this simple coordinate system. He is the one who doesn’t try to change our very existence, but add a totally new dimension to our lives.
This new dimension is cherished by us all. But we miss out something; we miss out on the existence of that new dimension and the person who brought it along. We may take those very moments as “just another happy moment” in life. This ignorance is what kills me at times. I am not afraid that the friend will stop loving me, but I am afraid what if I stop loving my friend. What if I fail in my commitments???
Yet again, it involves a great degree of vulnerability that makes all this so uncomfortable.
I will never be able to say some things, and this succumbs me to the very extreme. I feel like my mind will blast off to pieces, there are no tears in my eyes, no shouts, no sobbings. Only a faint smile comes over. The ones who don't "know me" take that as the "usual". This maks me happier in such a moment of distress and sadness cause I know that my friend will be listening what I m trying to say. This feeling of assurance is my only possesion. I am willing to lose everything for this possesion.........
Monday, November 06, 2006
Recent pics
Diwali
Ahmm ahmm, maybe my next pic for the orkut profile...
Bittal in his new avtar
Is there something wrong with the Chasma or the face??? Keep guessing, thats chussu with cheeku.
Left to right: Bittal, Cheeku, Ant, Myself and Funky. And chussu behind the scenes. Total arbitapa at the dry fountain of PRIYA's.
Ahmm ahmm, maybe my next pic for the orkut profile...
Bittal in his new avtar
Is there something wrong with the Chasma or the face??? Keep guessing, thats chussu with cheeku.
Left to right: Bittal, Cheeku, Ant, Myself and Funky. And chussu behind the scenes. Total arbitapa at the dry fountain of PRIYA's.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Nothing, almost nothing!
Relaxing, dozing off, mailing, reading arbit stuff, wondering, dreaming, thinking...
PL suddenly comes around and asks: "to kya chal raha hai??? "
Mein: "kuch nahi" ------translating------> "nothing"
PL : " kya kuch nahi!!"
Mein: "nahi aisa nahi hai, i mean i m reading the specification document and......" ---------translating-------> "almost nothing"
Times like these do happen when you come face to face with NOTHING, mathematically a null set, physically a black empty space, in general terms a vella and in my own terms arbitapa!
That Nothing. Nothing with more qualities than nothing else. Just think about God logically...Every single thing that exisits outside god's capability, was created by God (i thinjk thats what a god is for!). Even the word "creator" was created by him. But did he create "nothing", or is it just the lack of creation whihc led to creating "nothing". So we have something that is seriously attributeless which we know of as Nothing. (Dimaag ghooma naa.........mine has already taken a full turn!!)
Eastern Philosophy says that "Stillness of Mind" can only be achieved by concentrating on Nothing (at least I have something to report to my PL, i have got stillness of mind!). There is no such thing as nothing in the real world (forget matrix!!). Even black colour and black space is something. So according to them the only place where nothing can truly exist in this whole wide infinite universe is in Your Mind. I have just begun to meditate on Nothing and lemme tell you thinking about it is hard. I am at black empty space as big as a stadium as of now.
I got hold of something else too: "He who knows that he knows nothing is the Wisest". So the guy who knows NOTHING, knows it he is the wisest. Isn't that strange, when he knows that he is wise, then he knows something, which implies that he must not be knowing nothing, then how can he..........^%*&^%#&$ (i m going mad.....)
I will call up one of my dear friends now,
tring tring.....
tring tring....
"hey hello..."
"hi"
"what are u doing???"
"nothing yaar!!"
...
..
.
nothing!
almost nothing!
PL suddenly comes around and asks: "to kya chal raha hai??? "
Mein: "kuch nahi" ------translating------> "nothing"
PL : " kya kuch nahi!!"
Mein: "nahi aisa nahi hai, i mean i m reading the specification document and......" ---------translating-------> "almost nothing"
Times like these do happen when you come face to face with NOTHING, mathematically a null set, physically a black empty space, in general terms a vella and in my own terms arbitapa!
That Nothing. Nothing with more qualities than nothing else. Just think about God logically...Every single thing that exisits outside god's capability, was created by God (i thinjk thats what a god is for!). Even the word "creator" was created by him. But did he create "nothing", or is it just the lack of creation whihc led to creating "nothing". So we have something that is seriously attributeless which we know of as Nothing. (Dimaag ghooma naa.........mine has already taken a full turn!!)
Eastern Philosophy says that "Stillness of Mind" can only be achieved by concentrating on Nothing (at least I have something to report to my PL, i have got stillness of mind!). There is no such thing as nothing in the real world (forget matrix!!). Even black colour and black space is something. So according to them the only place where nothing can truly exist in this whole wide infinite universe is in Your Mind. I have just begun to meditate on Nothing and lemme tell you thinking about it is hard. I am at black empty space as big as a stadium as of now.
I got hold of something else too: "He who knows that he knows nothing is the Wisest". So the guy who knows NOTHING, knows it he is the wisest. Isn't that strange, when he knows that he is wise, then he knows something, which implies that he must not be knowing nothing, then how can he..........^%*&^%#&$ (i m going mad.....)
I will call up one of my dear friends now,
tring tring.....
tring tring....
"hey hello..."
"hi"
"what are u doing???"
"nothing yaar!!"
...
..
.
nothing!
almost nothing!
Monday, October 16, 2006
Dominoes
Land of diversity: India will always remain so and that’s one of the reasons I love it.
A recent conversation over the coffee went something like this:
Friend 1: Yaar there is only dominoes pizza in greater noida. It’s so disgusting.
Friend 2: yes dude who would like dominoes.
Friend 1: ya, pizza hut is so good. I don’t know who goes for dominoes. It has got such a bad crust. Thick and tasteless and less of cheese.
Friend 3 (enters the scene): Kiski baat chal rahi hai???
Friend 1: pizza ki baat chal rahi thi.
Friend 3: haan yaar, dominoes is the best…….. (we just stare at him…..how can he!!) Uski crust to mast hoti hai. Aur pizza hut kitna ganda….cheese hi cheese……
This is just one instance which we have benchmarked to showcase the diversity of opinions on any topic.
A recent conversation over the coffee went something like this:
Friend 1: Yaar there is only dominoes pizza in greater noida. It’s so disgusting.
Friend 2: yes dude who would like dominoes.
Friend 1: ya, pizza hut is so good. I don’t know who goes for dominoes. It has got such a bad crust. Thick and tasteless and less of cheese.
Friend 3 (enters the scene): Kiski baat chal rahi hai???
Friend 1: pizza ki baat chal rahi thi.
Friend 3: haan yaar, dominoes is the best…….. (we just stare at him…..how can he!!) Uski crust to mast hoti hai. Aur pizza hut kitna ganda….cheese hi cheese……
This is just one instance which we have benchmarked to showcase the diversity of opinions on any topic.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Snippets from the last month
Me: so what happened to your delivery???
****: delivery??? Please be clear….
Me: Delivery bhai!! …..after noticing the stare getting bigger project delivery, of course!!
****: should make that clear ;)
Me: who was that girl that you were chatting to???
Frustu phattu: Kaun?
Me: The one you had the breakfast with.
Frustu phattu: acchha woh!! I don’t know her name.
Me: How can that be?? You were having a nice chat with her.
Frustu phattu: arre haan yaad aaya, her name is ****. But suna hai that she has proposed someone else.
Me: what do you mean by “propose”???? Define it please.
Frustu phattu: (a very sick statement)
An Investment banker’s biography: what to do and what not to do in Hyderabad. This story will be disclosed in the coming pages after proper authorization.
Two new members join our coffee table brigade: G ji and SJ (yet to have an offical name). G ji doesn’t like our insensible talks and not even my khattas.
Expenses for the weekend:
Movie tickets: Rs. 600
Drinks: Rs. 120
Food: Rs. 200
Masti: Priceless
Movie: Worthless, mat poochna kaunsi, have a guess!!
Reading now a days: Crossings by Daniel Steel
Felt to be very boring in the start but has come up as an engrossing novel. It takes one along the journeys across the Atlantic in the most luxurious ship as well as on a ship about to be sunk by the German U-boats anytime.
Saw Notting Hill for the 20th time this weekend and found it even more romantic.
Rands giving the news that he/she has already given the resignation and then coming to me after a coupla days and telling me not to tell that to anyone. Strange!!
Ankit back from a trip to Italy, with a bottle of wine.
****: delivery??? Please be clear….
Me: Delivery bhai!! …..after noticing the stare getting bigger project delivery, of course!!
****: should make that clear ;)
Me: who was that girl that you were chatting to???
Frustu phattu: Kaun?
Me: The one you had the breakfast with.
Frustu phattu: acchha woh!! I don’t know her name.
Me: How can that be?? You were having a nice chat with her.
Frustu phattu: arre haan yaad aaya, her name is ****. But suna hai that she has proposed someone else.
Me: what do you mean by “propose”???? Define it please.
Frustu phattu: (a very sick statement)
An Investment banker’s biography: what to do and what not to do in Hyderabad. This story will be disclosed in the coming pages after proper authorization.
Two new members join our coffee table brigade: G ji and SJ (yet to have an offical name). G ji doesn’t like our insensible talks and not even my khattas.
Expenses for the weekend:
Movie tickets: Rs. 600
Drinks: Rs. 120
Food: Rs. 200
Masti: Priceless
Movie: Worthless, mat poochna kaunsi, have a guess!!
Reading now a days: Crossings by Daniel Steel
Felt to be very boring in the start but has come up as an engrossing novel. It takes one along the journeys across the Atlantic in the most luxurious ship as well as on a ship about to be sunk by the German U-boats anytime.
Saw Notting Hill for the 20th time this weekend and found it even more romantic.
Rands giving the news that he/she has already given the resignation and then coming to me after a coupla days and telling me not to tell that to anyone. Strange!!
Ankit back from a trip to Italy, with a bottle of wine.
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